I’ve just started a job that puts in a city centre at around 2am. Just about the same time the last bus goes. The last chance for a drunk to get a cheap ride home from an expensive night out. You meet all kinds of people on that bus, and see the full range of desperation. From the uncontrollably drunk, the regretful high, and even the guy marooned here because he couldn’t find himself a better job.
12:45 am • 14 January 2014
Today is the first day of my new blogging strategy. I’m only going to write five sentences a day, but I’m committed to making them the best five sentences they can be. They’ve got to introduce something, relate to it’s audience, develop on it, tie it all up a nice bow and never have a single wasted word. I’m hoping it helps my writing and my editing, but I’ll be content if it just keeps me writing. I know I’ll get better if I can just keep writing every day, for once.
11:44 pm • 9 January 2014
I gave a friend a poem about her a couple of days ago. She really liked it. It’ll never make any money, and no-one will ever Re-Tweet, Re-blog or ‘Like’ it, but I’m fine with that.
If there’s a better use of poetry than a free Christmas or Birthday present that someone loves and keeps posted in their room all year round; I haven’t found it yet.
Meanwhile, a bunch of poetic things happened on New Year’s Eve that I’ve not written about yet. Stuff about anti-climbing paint and broken shoes and bumming cigarettes of drunk people.
Yeah, it’s going to be real ‘poetic.’ Look out for it!
8:27 pm • 2 January 2014
The Game That Bored Christmas
I’ve never really had a Christmas like the ones on TV or film. I’ve never trekked hundreds of miles to make it home for the celebrations. None of my family have ever been caught in a snow drift, and I don’t think anyone’s ever raised a toast at any Christmas dinner, for anything.
My Christmas’ have never been bad, but they’ve never been cinematic either. They’re more a tradition to uphold, rather than a day to celebrate. When you live under an hour away from most of your family, Christmas is less of a cherished occasion, it’s more of a ‘how come I’ve not seen you the rest of the year?’ kind of situation.
But, every year we travel to my Aunt’s house. We have Turkey with all the trimmings, and my Gran gives me a couple stacks of my favourite Dark Chocolate bars, and everyone casually makes fun of me because I’m the youngest and the nicest; and then we play the damn Logo Board Game.
It’s not a bad board game, really. There’s cards full of questions about the logos of certain companies and product’s, and when you answer enough of them right you win. That’s it. Despite its simplicity though, I’ve become more and more against The Logo Board Game over the years.
It would help, if I didn’t have to be the question master every year. It would help, if anyone had a chance against my supermarket-employed sister. And it would definitely help if we didn’t have to play it, each and every, single Christmas evening.
I’ve grown to loathe The Logo Board Game despite its innocuous looks and inoffensive gameplay. But not for how it plays; I hate it for what it stands for.
Throughout 2013 I have somewhat rediscovered the joy of playing board games. For the first time in my life, I’ve played and enjoyed games that weren’t Monopoly or Cluedo, or even Scrabble. I’ve loved every moment of my exploration of a whole new world of gaming, with such depths that I didn’t even know existed.
But The Logo Board Game isn’t interested in being new, or interesting, or even being an actual game. Instead it rewards wrought memorisation of your grocery errands, and the advertisements that are on TV, and the on the billboards that flash by while you’re driving.
It’s a marketers dream; a game that not only encourages carefully recollection of each aspect of the product, but a game that also facilities players chiding each other when they don’t remember. See? You would have won if you’d remembered how many herbs and spices KFC’s use.
And it’s also great for playing with families. It inflates the egos of the parents and grandparents that whip the same kids who had just taken all their money at Monopoly or who had got 12 points for TWERK at Scrabble, with their knowledge of when the first Rolls Royce was made and when and by whom.
It’s a game to make non-board gamers feel good, as they can win without any of the skill or cunning any of those other games require. One that gamifiy’s commercialisation, rather than poises some sort of challenge.
Maybe I’m just jealous that not only do I never win, I don’t get even get to play. Whenever the game comes out, I’m always stuck asking each person: What has been Skittles’ advertising slogan since 1994? And just how many colours are there in a standard pack of Skittles?
And maybe it’s because that my present of the excellent board game Tsuro got completely overlooked this Christmas, in favour of yet another interminable round of ”Logo”.
But Christmas gaming for me should encapsulate the cheeky nature of the best board games. The sneaky lying and playfully backstabbing. The battle between the elders’ guile, and the youngster’s enthusiasm. Team wins and heartfelt team losses.
Maybe that’s just on the TV, though. My families Christmas’ seem shockingly realistic. Never bad, and never cinematic either. And thinking of it like that, maybe The Logo Board Game is the perfect game after all.
8:35 pm • 27 December 2013 • 1 note
I invented a new game. It’s called ‘Word Sneak.’
The Objective of the Game
To sneak ridiculous words into causal conversation. Best played when drinking with buddies or in the middle of a class.
How You Play
Get together a bunch of people. One person is chosen to be the judge, who then comes up with a ridiculous word for everyone but themselves. They can then pass each person their word, or distribute them randomly. It’s probably best to write them down, and pass them the word, as it can be used to prove which word was theirs at the end.
The players then get 10 minutes to fit their words into the conversation. If a player uses their word, and the judge notices, they are given a point. If another player recognises which word the player was given, and calls them out on it, they are given a point as well. HOWEVER, if they guess wrong they lose a point.
After the ten minutes, the role of judge goes to the next player, and the process starts again.
The End of the Game
You can either play to a certain amount, usually 5 or 10, or until you’re bored. Whichever suits you.
The judge of that rounds rule is final. If you mumbled your word and the judge didn’t hear it, it doesn’t count.
Everyone has to be able to hear the word, you can’t just talk so quietly that only the judge will hear it.
Use other big, silly words in conversation to try and get people to call you on it.
Using your own chosen word with enough confidence to fool people that you use that kind of word normally.
Raise the level of your vocabulary outside of the game, so when you do play the words you use seem normal.
Examples of Good Words To Give Your Opponents.
Daniel Winters made this game. 07/12/13. Play responsibly.
11:06 pm • 7 December 2013 • 3 notes
Growing Up With Boys
Going to an all boys school
means you come out
at the end
as either a jock
or a nerd.
And jocks don’t write poems.
You don’t learn a lot of things,
only growing up with boys.
They teach you
to keep quiet,
if you’re not talking about
girls or sports.
I only ever learned how to talk
so I tried to teach myself
how to write to them.
I’ll have enough faith in my poems
to turn them into a script.
But if only
there was a way
to write to my unread voice messages.
I’ve had enough of being forced
without a chance
to talk back.
12:31 am • 3 December 2013 • 2 notes
Prince of Freerolls
If you like poker, please check out my new blog: Prince of Freerolls
This marks my first foray into the Poker writing world, something I’d love to get into. It won’t be hugely complicated, and anyone can read it.
Hope you enjoy it.
11:02 pm • 2 December 2013
I was trying so hard
to french kiss you
that I think we bumped teeth.
All Sunday my teeth
echoed with the sound of you.
It had a nice bass-line,
but it needed
your sweet voice
to go along with it.
I loved it,
when you said
I had a nice voice, because
I’ve been waiting a long,
long time, for a chance
for a duet.
10:20 pm • 1 December 2013 • 1 note
Day 15-Day 30
So, I failed.
Writing a slice of poetry
is harder than it sounds.
And writing pieces
that are worth a damn
is even harder.
I want my poems
to be worth a damn
so it may take a while.
But it’ll be worth it.
8:07 pm • 30 November 2013 • 3 notes
I’m pretty easy to understand.
I write in words
you find on movie posters
and about things
you can understand.
I watch Sports and Cartoons
and Batman like everyone else,
they never know
what to get me for my birthday.
8:04 pm • 30 November 2013